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Thursday, 10 November 2011

All I Want for Christmas

Book cover: Home for Christmas.

Buy on amazon.co.uk.

Beth Prince has always loved fairytales and now, aged twenty-four, she feels like she's finally on the verge of her own happily ever after. She lives by the seaside, works in the Picturebox – a charming but rundown independent cinema – and has a boyfriend who's so debonair and charming she can't believe her luck!

There's just one problem – none of her boyfriends have ever told her they love her and it doesn't look like Aiden's going to say it any time soon. Desperate to hear 'I love you' for the first time Beth takes matters into her own hands – and instantly wishes she hadn't.

Just when it seems like her luck can't get any worse, bad news arrives in the devilishly handsome shape of Matt Jones. Matt is the regional director of a multiplex cinema and he's determined to get his hands on the Picturebox by Christmas. Can Beth keep her job, her man and her home or is her romantic-comedy life about to turn into a disaster movie?


Greetings, Captain "Ebenezer" Black here. Just to be a bit different, I'm going to sub-title this article.

Bah Humbug!

There are a few things I really like about Christmas:

  • You get to see lots of friends and family.
  • You get to eat and drink a lot.

However, there are many more things that really annoy me about it:

  • The commercial side of it drives me up the wall. Every year it starts earlier and earlier. I personally believe that Christmas related commercialism should be banned on any day that doesn't have a corresponding advent calendar window.
  • People who are really "into" Christmas bang on and on about it, to the exclusion of all else, cluttering up the social networks with their drivel.
  • Christmas is for kids. Grow up!
  • Buying presents is too expensive. I don't even want any presents (with the possible exception of booze).
  • You can't buy normal stuff in the shops, as it's been replaced with Christmas junk.
  • Why is everywhere so busy? Get the **** out of my way!
  • Call that music? What a load of droning, boring drivel. I hate carols. I especially hate that George bloody Michael song. Dose anybody actually want to hear that again?
  • I'm not bothered by the religious aspects, since I'm an atheist.

So there you go. Call me a Scrooge if you like. Haunt me if it makes you feel better. All I want for Christmas is a large gin and tonic.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Obviously, you've been properly brought up.... one thingthough- thought the whole point of social networks was drivel- "seasonal" or otherwise

Jenny Beattie said...

Ha. Like it Capt Black.

Captain Black said...

Anonymous: Good point. It's hard to find the drivel amongst the drivel sometimes.

Glad to be of service, Jenny {takes a bow}.